Create a plan and prioritise!
This is post follows on from the one published a couple of weeks ago that you can view here. People often ask me how do I fit so much into a day. My answer? Prioritising! I live in my own filth most of the time because the truth is that having a dust free home with no dog hair tumble weeds is not a priory for me. My Nan was the cleanest person I have ever met (she actually scrubbed the dirty out of my dirty wash denim when I was a teenager… something I cried about for days). I have come to grips with the fact that while I like cleaning it will never be a priority for me because I see little sense in using my time for it when I could be studying or writing. Prioritising is a process that comes about from self awareness and goal setting. It also requires an ability to delegate the ‘fucks’ in life. Pardon the language but I blame this all on Sarah Knight who wrote The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck (diagram below from this fab book). When you have spent some time in self inquiry and worked out what you 100% give a fuck about its much easier to delegate your priorities guilt free.
For me I care about the fact that we as a species are a bit of a plague. However we are a (for most part) self aware plague. Which means that as long as I’m here I want to do my best to understand our impact as a species and use my time wisely to contribute to a useful global knowledge base. Which lead me to sustainability education. So I give 100% of my fucks to that. What I thought I should care about was having a house free from dog hair. However I soon realised that: 1. It’s impossible to be free from dog hair when you live with a fur factory, and 2. I would be very upset if my legacy in life was ‘her house was free from dog hair’. So cleaning ended up at the bottom of my list of priorities as something I still need to do (someone has to do the dishes at some point) but don’t actually get anything out of. After that come the things you think you should care about really don’t give a fuck about. Once you release the guilt associated with these it’s easy to create boundaries and not feel bad. The number one for me on this list is house parties. Weird-I-know but I hate them and find them very boring. Being stuck in conversations about the weather or ‘what do you do’ without an escape is not my thing. Dinner parties are about food. House parties are usually about getting drunk and not having to drive. I will take Netflix and a homemade pizza on my own over awkward house party chit chat with drunk people any day. Once you work out what you really care about shedding the rest is easy. When you establish your priorities and your friends and family understand your passions then they will accept that you aren’t ‘the house party person’ and choose other ways to enjoy time with u (or if they do throw a house party they will understand if you come for a drink and leave soon after).
Surrender your to-do list to the end of day gods.
I was bad at this until I read the book Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff by Richard Carlson. After that I realised that there is always something to-do. If there isn’t then you should worry because as long as you live you will always have to get stuff done (eating and sleeping are things we ‘do’). Prioritise communication into most urgent to least urgent and if it takes you a while to get back to someone reply with heart. Most people will understand compassion and love if you are on a mission to follow up with the things you really give a fuck about. If they don’t then they aren’t worth your time. Your to-do list can roll over for days weeks and months so think of it more as a serving suggestion than the hard word or bottom line. When you get sick of the list get up and do something you enjoy instead. Don’t push yourself to compete something when it’s not flowing. Give yourself some fun time or action another priority from your list with a time limit and come back to the tricky one later.
If you really want to get shit done and maximise your earth time then learn all about you. Sounds wanky and self indulgent but how can you expect the best out of yourself as your number one employee and friend if you don’t understand yourself and your strengths and weaknesses. You will NEVER be good at everything. If you were then there would be scientists knocking down your door to take you away and perform experiments on you in secret government labs and clone you for a super race of humans that will inhabit Mars one day. Your flaws are not something to be ashamed of. They are opportunities for learning or for networking. If you suck at something you can hire your weaknesses. There would be no sense in trying to move a refrigerator with a bad back, so why pretend you can do it all youself! Pick what you like and enjoy doing and do that. Get others to help you with the rest. If you are a mum who hates cooking but loves spending time with kids why not trade with a busy friend who’s an expert at cooking but needs some time off from her baby to work on her cooking blog. Baby sit her kid in return for a weeks worth of freezer meals! You aren’t a failure as a mum, you’re capitalising on your strengths and reducing the stress and guilt that comes with thinking you have to be a cetain way or do a cetain task. I’m terrible at most techno stuff which is why I choose to work with pre made themes. When I have financial abundance then I will be able to afford to pay people to help me do all the boring (for me) techno stuff (like coding) and I can use that time to research and write rather than swear at the computer for hours because it’s made my search bar text white and I can’t work out how to fix it (yes… It’s been that way for months now and I’m sorry).
What are your thoughts on this? Annoyed by the cussing? Perhaps you have just taken me off the ‘house-party’ guest list (it’s a good idea to do so because I will likely just hide in the yard with your dog or children)? Share your reflections and comments below.